Are women Their Own Biggest Problem?


During my days in the university, I asked one of my few female friends who she would be voting for during the faculty election, I asked because she was enthusiastic about the election-she got so massively involved in the election process, even though she was not vying for any position. However, her reply amazed me, even until this moment.

“Of course, Segun is my favourite person, anytime any day” she had said, with such unmistakable sagacity and rascality. Her reply was not strange initially, Segun is not just favoured to win the election; he also has the bank power to run a lavish campaign. Nevertheless, I believe as a lady, she would intuitionally and sentimentally wish that the only female vying for that position succeeds, so I asked if she would support the only female aiming for the office if Segun was out of the picture.

“I would not vote for her, she thinks she would win, in fact, the reason why I would not support her is that she is a girl.” She said, with her disgust for the girl in question written all over her face. The reason for the disapproval of the only lady competing for that office is obviously not far-fetched, it is simply because she was a girl just like herself; not because she lacked the charisma, the wisdom or the strength to come through as the president of the faculty but because she is a daughter, not a son, she is therefore not fit, to hold should esteemed position. Just like my friend, other ladies would rather support the male aspirant rather than the only lady who is attempting to defy the jinx of the faculty the faculty polity, by being the first lady to ever to not just compete for that position but to also win the election.

It is ironical that women would conveniently point accusing figures at the male folks as the source of their misfortune, men for them are monsters that must be avoided, men are big green snakes that have been ruthless predators of their dreams, aspiration, and humanity They have accused men of conspiring to undermine and subjugate their essence, and pervert their sanity. The patriarch has been accused of rigging the cultural essence of the society and tweaking its principles to favour the men in the society. However, are all these allegations entirely true? Especially when we decide to critically examine the role of the women themselves in their fall and continuous subjugation.

Women down history have always pondered on the reasons why they at all-time have to be at the mercy of the men in their lives. They have asked questions on why they are referred to as the weaker vessel. All throughout history, women have been clamouring for space to express their humanity without the burden placed on them by their culture and tradition. They have insisted that their voices be heard and respected. Through these profound advocacies and social strive for recognition, women are being to find their feet and influence in their various societies. It suffice to say that as conquer one mountain of discrimination and social irrelevance they vie for the leveling of another; just as they got from being pseudo-citizens to voting citizens and then to politically active citizens, they are still gunning for more acknowledgment. The question, however, is this: why is it taking women too long to come to equity?

While I totally support that women be given the space to express their humanity, it is important to state that they themselves are the reason why their influence in their society is still minute. In the light of the anecdote that opened this piece, women have always gotten in their own way. They have restrained from supporting a noble course as regard their gender. They have consistently failed to use the power to unite to their advantage.

Women make up about half of the population of any society, but they are not as relevant in their society as much as the opposite gender is. Facts in Nigeria concerning the limitation they face, however, the figure in the United State speak volume of the fact that women are deprived of equal opportunities- even though the country is known to be more liberal than Nigeria. 29 percent of Americans believe that they are feminist. It has been reported women in America, receive 15 percent less pay than the male. This is a pointer to the fact that gender inequality is not just a problem of humanity, but also the problem of every female folk in the world.

The United State presidential election in 2016 has gone a long way to exposing the hypocrisy of most women. The American women had an opportunity to help their fellow woman, Hillary Clinton, to achieve the inconsiderable feet of being the first female president of the United State. They have no excuse for not supporting their gender mate, especially one who had led her lives for the advancement of right of women and children, with her popular chiasmus  “Human right is Woman Right and woman Rights are Human Rights” if all the women supported Hilary, she would have succeeded in her quest of the first female president.  This is in addition to the fact that the person they favoured is accused of undermining and disrespecting women.

Women have the problem of a divided herd, inter-gender strive, jealousy, envy, and the rest have been the undoing of the female folks, most women have no problem with people who are not as beautiful as themselves. They, most time don’t see the male folks as their competition, but they fellow ladies. Competition among ladies is just too unhealthy. It has been discovered that women treat their subordinates who are women harshly more than they would to their male subordinates. In fact, most women prefer to work under male bosses rather than female bosses. Female friends tend to backstab themselves more freely, especially when it concerns a man.

It should be noted that it is the women who afflict their fellow women in most. A woman would not say she has a problem with her father-in-law, but rather with her mother-in-law. It is equally the women who forcefully implement customs that dehumanize widows and women generally. They are responsible for circumcision of girls in their community, even though they know the negative implication of these this barbaric custom, but they still insist it must be done, maybe because they have experienced this dehumanizing custom, and so they want other women to share in their pain. Women have always set the precedent for the customs to victimize their kind, they have continued to give the custom the lee-way to hold on to its tenets against them since it is mostly the female folks who implement the dictate of the custom.

Have you wondered why most women prefer to have a male child than to have a female child? Yes, we might want to point to the insistence of the husbands as the instigating factor for their desire to have male children, but the fact remains that most women usually pray for male children, even without the insistent of their husband. In addition to this, we have heard news of how women treat their female house help badly, it is less likely for a man to treat a woman in such a manner. It suffice to know that most violence done by a man to a woman is without the influence a woman (to a reasonable extent).

The fact that most women claim they are Feminist has not helped in any way. All that this social solidarity status has done is to create grudges among women, their society and the male folks. Feminist should essentially not be a declaration of war on the society, but should entirely be a process through which every women is fought for and given a voice and a platform to express herself. Feminist is like a tag that has not changed the attitude of people, but has instead increased the hypocrisy of most believer of this concept. We all need to look beyond Feminism, to see humanism is essential.

If women are really serious about attaining equality with the male folks, they must make conscious efforts not to live like snakes, which walk separately, they must not merely unite, they must fight not against the society, but with the society. Women should pull their folks up by mentoring and empowering. They must not see men as the problem, but as human beings who have an equal intention to make a mark in the sands of time. Protecting the right of women in the world basically means protecting every girl child and woman around us. This responsibility should be spearheaded by privileged women in the society, and off course by every responsible men, who knows that he came from a woman womb and love or would love a woman and possibly have or would have a daughter.

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About Author

Joshua Oyenigbehin is an introvert who is passionate about Storytelling, writing, and teaching. He sees his imagination as an unsearchable world, more magical than a fairyland. He has written a novel and working on another

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