My friend, Bode, visited me in Lagos from his base in Abuja. He had recently popped the nuptial question to his fiancée, and she accepted his proposal with a love shredded emotion. He narrated the event of his engagement with an aura of a man who has seen God. He felt fulfilled and was bubbling in the grace of his newfound love. After some anecdotes that really pointed to the essence of his happiness, he asked me. “Haven’t you fallen in love yet?” the questions took me aback, but it was expected. He had always been a vocal advocate for healthy relationship. I smiled and said, “no, not yet”.
“Are you serious at all?” he asked, staring at me surprisingly, I knew that another series of Ted-talk would ensue between us. “Bro, you need love, oh, love makes a man’s life easy. Or are you afraid of heartbreak? See, both heartbreak and love motivates a man to success”
It took a long time to understand the massage, but, later the weight of his ted-talk dawned on me. However, I wondered how easy it was for Bode to fall in love, he had had a long experience when it comes to heartbreak; he had endured some. Well, I am not scared of heartbreak, I wondered why he is not. Bode, a freelance Software Engineer had shared his pain of heartbreak and other throbs of rejection with me. His ex-girlfriend or ex-fiancée-I think, at one time, had dumped him for a politician who already had a wife. Obviously, because my friend could not support her financially – he was still struggling to get his self-sponsored degree.
Without doubt, this particular rejection throbbed my friend beyond words, he loved this girl, paraded her around like a queen that she obviously was not. Despite all this, this girl walked out of his life like a book that left the shelf. With his experience, I understand firsthand that people who were called crazy because they committed suicide due to heartbreak and rejections have valid reasons to contemplate suicide. Even though it is stupid that they actually committed suicide. However, this was the beginning for him, he channeled his hate and anger in powering his desire to succeed in his endeavor, because he literally wanted this girl to regret her exit from his life.
Bode, like other folks who have endured heartbreak, decided to send a message to the girl who looked down on him because he was just too poor to meet her needs. He desperately wanted her to know that no condition is permanent.
Fortunately, my friend has found love again with another queen. Love, also, fueling his desires to impress and create a better life for this queen. Probably, because he does not want to lose her like he lost the previous girls…LOL. Love is fueling him the more to succeed, he wants a better life for his future baby mama.
In the light of the anecdote above, there are many reasons why a person will fight to succeed; love and heartbreak seem to me to be some of the major sources of motivation for success. This depends on the way a person who is in love or heartbroken channels his or her emotion.
While heartbreak has the power to wrack a person emotionally and in fact the life of such a person, it can also push the resolve of a person to be a better person, it can motivate a person to look inward, to change his idiosyncrasy and attitude. In fact, it indeed instigates a man to succeed in his/her endeavor if that person positively accepts the circumstance in which his/her relationship is truncated.
Nevertheless, this emotional trigger (Heartbreak) is not stable. It usually leads to hatred, envy, and all sort of unhealthy rivalry, which might instigate self-destruction. Heartbreak is likely to cause frustration and depression. In most cases, success motivated by heartbreak is temporal, this is because it is basically out to get even with the person who rejected the victim or to even get back the love that has been lost. However, if the plan to get the lost love back fails, the motivation that that fellow gives in to strive and in-depth hate.
Heartbroken fellows are forced to keep up appearances, they always want to prove their ex that they are found with the break, this does not help a bit; it kills the more. Heartbreak might force you to want to impress or succeed, but the fact is that it is counterproductive.
It is important to note that love is a better and healthier opium needed to succeed. Love makes a person wants to be better, not because of the rejection they have endured but because of the love the person you love shows to you. Love makes you cherish who you are and what you have, not what you have lost. Love does not make you regret your previous actions, it makes you responsible, for somebody other than yourself. Love is an honorable responsibility that makes you want to impress those you love. A child would work really hard to pass his exams because he knows that his father has invested his love in him, so, therefore, he has to reciprocate this love by coming out in flying colours.
Love will always be a more powerful force than heartbreak, it always give you reasons to succeed. Love makes a person put his spouse in perspective always. Love on like heartbreaks make life meaningful and makes feats achievable. Love for family always get a man going, he sees those he loves as the essence of his strive, All this heartbreak cannot do in the life of a man. Love motivates you to prove your love, heartbreak motivates you to go on a campaign meant to make the defecting lover regret their action. Heartbreak is a weight that mutates your personality and distorts your purpose. Love, however, makes success a duty of love foe the reciprocating lover.
A person who has been rejected should always find a way to see the silver lining in the cloud of such devastation, the pain should make you want to be a better person. Love more, love is the reason we live.
Which motivates you? Please share your opinion on this piece with us in the comment section.
This piece was first published on our maiden blog www.stationofthought.wordpress.com